Walk Away
by Ms.E1928
Summary: After the death of Gerry, Mellie realizes life is too short to be unhappy. She takes steps to try to reclaim some of her happiness.
1. Chapter 1

A/N Not sure if this is going to be Mellitz end game at this point, but the focus of the story is Mellie and Fitz and their relationship. If that's not your thing well you've been warned.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or Scandal.

He said that he needed to make a stop in New Hampshire to stomp for the party during the mid-term elections, but I know that's not his only reason for leaving. Just like it wasn't the last time he disappeared to New Hampshire. I can't fight anymore, I don't want to fight anymore. Ever since Gerry died I realized how short life truly is and it shouldn't be wasted being unhappy. I sigh as I look in my closet trying to figure out what to take with me. I've decided to go home, to Asheville. I don't know if I will settle there or return to Washington after his term is over I just know that I can no longer stay in this marriage. I deserve better and no political office is worth my self respect, there isn't enough love in the world that can excuse being disrespected at every turn.

Finally I throw a few things in my suitcase. I can always purchase what I need once I get settled. I've arranged to rent a house in a gated community. Of course I didn't rent it in my name, but used a dummy corporation to do so. Sometimes being a lawyer in my former life does pay off. I head towards Teddy's room and get his small suitcase out of the closet. I pack a few of his clothes and some of his favorite toys. Fitz will pretend to throw a fit when he realizes that I've taken Teddy with me, but despite his constant declarations to the contrary I've always been the more involved parent. He's just fooled himself into thinking he was better because he was a better father than his own, but it's not really a great feat to be a better father than Big Gerry, just don't go around raping. He definitely has the cheating and lying down pact.

I clear my head of these thoughts. I have to get the packing done. I have arranged to leave tonight. And I want to make sure I have what I need. I do not plan to ever return to this place. I will not deny Fitz his right to see Teddy, but I won't be the one bringing him here. Finally I get Teddy's bag together. I look down at my watch and notice that I have about an hour before I need to head out. Teddy is already sleep and I am praying he stays asleep for the entire trip. I walk back into the bedroom I once shared with my husband and I look around one last time, taking it all in. Where did it all go wrong? I never imagined that this dream that we had would turn into the nightmare that helped tear us apart. I sigh as I remove my wedding band and place it on the nightstand. I have no use for it anymore. Soon I won't be Mellie Grant anymore, but Melody Sinclair. I'll reclaim my former self.

Finally the time has arrived. The White House staff come to collect our bags. I gently lift Teddy out of his crib and cradle him in my arms as I walk to the waiting car. I'd asked that there not be a motorcade. I want this done as discreetly as possible. I want to be able to settle into my new home without a media circus. I owe this to myself and my son. Once I get settled I will tell Karen what is going on. I know she won't be upset. She's been imploring me to leave her dad for some time now. Despite how I may feel about him I don't want her to hate him, after all he is her father.

I settle into the town car. Every now and then I glance over at Teddy who is buckled into his seat. He is still sleeping and I say a thank you for the small miracles. The last thing I need right now is to deal with a cranky toddler. Finally we arrive at the air force base and I am quickly whisked onto the waiting plane. I turn around to look at D.C. one last time before boarding. I know that this is goodbye.

Two Days Later

I have a spring in my step. I've spent the last two days with Olivia, the love of my life. I told Mellie I was going to be in New Hampshire, but that wasn't entirely the truth. I made a brief appearance in New Hampshire and then I met Olivia in Vermont. I needed the escape. Dealing with all my family issues was becoming too much for me.

I stride into the residence preparing myself for the onslaught of questions and insults that will be hurled my way by Mellie. I notice that she isn't anywhere to be found and I breathe a sigh of relief. I assume that she's in her office or at an event. I decide to go check in on Teddy, but his room is empty and noticeably tidy. I furrow my brow in confusion, but I shrug it off and guess that Marta took him out for a walk or to some outing. With nothing else to do I go to my office and begin to look through the days briefings.

I get lost in my work and I lose track of time. Standing from my desk my muscles scream at being left in the same position for so long. I check my watch and notice it's past 6. I've been at it for nearly four hours straight. I find it somewhat odd that Mellie hasn't made an appearance. I would think she'd be back from wherever she was today. A thought flashes through my head and I walk out of my office toward the reception area.

"Lauren can you check the VP's schedule for today?" She types in few commands and then begins to read off his schedule. I step behind her to look for myself. Andrew is still on a trip to China. "What about the First Lady's schedule?" She brings up Mellie's schedule and I am surprised to see it is clear. Can you call her office for me and ask them to have her meet me here?" I turn and go back into my office. I'm confused about what she's been doing all day.

After about 5 minutes there is a soft knock on my door.

"Come in." Lauren enters the Oval and I notice trepidation on her features. "Yes?"

"Sir I was informed that the First Lady is not in her office."

"Well where is she then?"

"I….I do not know sir. Apparently she hasn't been to her office all day today and she canceled all of her appointments beforehand." I stand from my desk and come around to stand right in front of Lauren.

"Call up to the residence and have her come down." She looks away briefly.

"I already did sir, ummm she is not in the residence."

"What?" I don't know what I'm feeling at this moment, but something is certainly not right. "Get Cyrus for me…." She hesitates. "Now!" I'm pacing the floor when Cyrus enters the Oval. "Where the fuck is my wife?"

He stops in his tracks and looks surprised at my question.

"Why would I know where your wife is sir?" I'm not in the mood for his snarkiness right now.

"If she is with him I swear….."

"If by him you mean the Vice President sir I doubt that the First Lady of the United States could have snuck out of the country with no one being the wiser. Why don't you contact her security detail and I'm sure they can fill you into the whereabouts of your wife sir." I cut my eyes at him, but don't say anything as I go over to the phone to call Mellie's security detail.

What I hear leaves me in complete confusion. I hang up the phone and just stare.

"Sir?" His voice pulls me from my thoughts.

"She's in North Carolina." He nods.

"Visiting her parents?"

"I would assume, yes. I must have forgotten that she told me that she was going to visit them." Cyrus nods

"Is that all sir?" I absentmindedly nod in the affirmative his way. I decide that I must have forgotten about this trip, but there is just a feeling I can't shake. I head up to the residence. I don't check on Teddy I assume Mellie has him with her. Once I enter our room there is something different. I can't put my finger on it. I go into the bathroom and take a shower. I notice a lot of Mellie's things are missing, but of course she took them for her trip. I exit the bathroom and head toward the closet to grab something to sleep in. Again I notice her things absent, I rationalize it away. Of course some of her clothes are missing she took them with her. I dress and exit the closet. As I am passing her side of the bed something on the nightstand catches my eye. I stop and walk over and what I see laying there causes my heart to drop.

I reach over and pick it up, needing a closer look because surely my eyes are playing a trick on me. I bring it close to my face and it is indeed Mellie's wedding band. She had been just wearing the band of late. Maybe she decided to go back to the set that she usually wore. I stride over to her jewelry box, opening the first drawer my heart starts to beat wildly in my chest. I come face to face with her wedding set, laying neatly in her jewelry box.

She took her ring off and left it. I'm alarmed. Maybe she just forgot it is what I rationalize. I'm not yet willing to think about why I am reacting this way. I walk quickly over to the phone and dial her parent's house. I assume she's staying with them. Her mother informs me that Mellie is not with them, that they have not seen her.

"What the hell is going on?" I mumble to myself. I pick up the phone again and dial the head of her security detail. He assures me that she is in Asheville and that she has men assigned to her and Teddy. I ask for a detailed status report within the hour.


	2. Chapter 2

My mother called and informed that Fitz called her looking for me. She of course told him that she hadn't seen me. I don't want to speak with him right now. Once I get settled then I will have a mediator handle Fitz's visitation with Teddy. I'm surprised I do have to admit that he noticed I was gone and so soon, but maybe he really only noticed Teddy was gone. I won't get my hopes up that he actually cares about me or my whereabouts. I take a look around the house that I'm renting and think of personal touches I can make to make it seem more like home. Before I moved in I picked out furnishings, but I need to bring my pictures here and personal knick knacks to make it feel like it's actually mine.

I don't plan to stay here forever. I really don't know what my plan is other than getting a divorce and going back into practice. Thankfully I really kept abreast of various laws when I was in the White House and I feel I can settle back into practice easily. I am reading through some legal briefs when I hear Teddy calling for me from his room. He'd been taking a nap and now was awake. I walk into his room to find him sitting up in his bed. When we got here I decided to get him a toddler bed. I thought he was too big for a crib.

"Hey Teddy bear. Did you have a good nap?" He shakes his head yes. He reaches his arms up for me and I pick him up.

"Mama where's dada?" Teddy asks rubbing his eyes.

"He's at his house."

"I want to see dada I want to go home." My heart breaks for him. I don't know how I can explain to him that we won't be living with daddy anymore.

"You can see him in a few days. He is very busy right now." He nods his head seeming to accept the situation right now. "You want a snack?" He shakes his head vigorously. I am relieved when he doesn't bring Fitz up again. I know that I have to let him see his dad soon, but I need time.

White House

"Where is she staying?" I ask the Secret Service agent as I flip through the report he has brought me.

"A rental house sir. Appears Mrs. Grant rented the house about two months ago using a shell corporation." Fitz couldn't help but to smile to himself. She was nothing short of tenacious.

"Why is this just now being noticed?"

"Sir with all due respect we don't monitor those types of personal matters. I only looked into it for the purposes of compiling this report. The location had been checked and deemed secure."

"So she has seen her parents?"

"Yes sir several times." I wonder to myself why her mother would lie to me about seeing Mellie.

"Has she had any other visitors?"

"No sir." I nod.

"That will be all. Thank you." The agent leaves and I continue to thumb through the report. I honestly don't know what I should do at this point. I have no idea what Mellie is planning. I can't say that I'm not concerned that she has taken off her wedding band, that she left without telling me. I decide that I need to try to contact her. She has my son after all. I stand and walk over to the phone on the table and dial Mellie's cell. It goes straight to voicemail. I decide not to leave a message.

I puff out an annoyed breath. She is obviously trying to avoid me, but I won't be ignored. I decide to let her have tonight, but tomorrow I want answers and I won't stop till I get them.

Asheville

I turn on my cell briefly and notice I have a missed call from an unknown number. I assume it's from Fitz he's probably wondering when I will send the divorce papers or maybe he's wondering where he can send his. I'm sure he's eager to get rid of me. My chest clutches at the thought. It hurts so badly to be thrown away by your husband. In the morning I plan to visit a lawyer. I honestly have no idea how you go about divorcing the President of the United States. My mother has contacted a family friend that will be discreet, to handle this for me. I lay in my bed trying to clear my head so I can get some rest.

My alarm blares and morning comes faster than I realized. It feels like I just got to sleep. I roll out of bed as I hear my mother calling my name. She has come to watch Teddy while I go see the lawyer.

"Melody honey you're still in bed?"

"I had a difficult time falling asleep."My mom comes over and kisses the top of my head.

"Go get a shower I'll tend to Theodore." I don't hesitate as I rise from the bed and head for the bathroom.

When I emerge my mother has Teddy up and they are in the kitchen, she's fixing him breakfast.

"Hopefully I won't be gone long." I say as I enter the kitchen.

"Take all the time you need honey. We are fine." I kiss Teddy's head and my mom on the cheek before heading out. I hate that I still have Secret Service it makes it difficult to just blend into a crowd, but I have not been able to convince them that I don't need the protection. I wonder if after the divorce is final will I be able to not have any protection? I am entering unchartered territory. A sitting president being divorce, any president being divorced from their first lady is unheard of. I finally arrive at the office. The building had been swept prior to my arrival. I walk into the unassuming office.

Richard Bilkins stands when I enter. "Madam First Lady." He says holding out his hand.

"Please call me Mellie." He nods. "Thank you for seeing me."

"Of course. Your mother is a dear friend of our family as you know. I am so sorry to hear about your son." I nod again. He offers me a seat. "Would you like anything to drink, tea, coffee?"

"No I'm fine thank you."

"Well let's get to it. You want to file divorce from your husband?"

"That is correct." He nods and begins to ask me a serious of questions I answer them and we decide to file based on irreconcilable differences. Of course I'd love to cite infidelity, but we decide that is not the best course of actions for a swift and non acrimonious parting. He assures me that his partner who is licensed in D.C. can be just as discreet as he is and he will file the paperwork which will be delivered to Fitz. I'm not sure how they are exactly going to serve the President of the United States, but that's not for me to worry about.

Two Weeks Later

I still haven't talked to Mellie. It's not because I haven't wanted to, but when I was really ready to dig my heels in and make her get on the phone a crisis erupted at the U.S. Embassy in Cairo and there was threats of more terrorist plots that may hit American soil. My personal life has had to take a back seat to me doing my actual job.

I'm sitting reading over intel reports when I hear a knock on the door.

"Come in." Lauren timidly steps into my office. She walks over to my desk and just stands there. "Yes what can I do for you?"

"This came for you sir." She hands me a thick envelope. My brow creases.

"From who?"

"I….I'm not sure sir. The sheriff brought it." I nod.

"That will be all." She hurriedly leaves my office. I open the envelope and withdraw its contents. My heart drops into my feet. It's a petition for divorce. My breath quickens and suddenly my tie feels like it's a noose around my neck. I loosen it as beads of sweat start to coat my forehead. I try to take slow deep breaths. I just never expected her to do this. I squeeze my eyes shut tightly, opening them back up I try to focus on the document. I begin to read through and when I get to the end my eyes widen when I see that she has already signed them. I'm not going to let her get away with this. She isn't going to just walk away without looking me in the eye. I stand from my desk and quickly walk out of the office.

"Tell my agents I need to go to North Carolina ASAP!" I state to Lauren as I head toward the residence to gather some belongings. Enough is enough Mellie and I are going to have it out once and for all.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: This chapter is rated M for strong language and adult situations that may have a trigger for some. If you think those types of things may bother you please skip. Please review review review thanks.

Asheville

I hear a hard knock at the door that causes me to sit up in my bed alarmed. I look over at the clock and the green bright numbers that read 4:32 a.m. I throw the covers from my body and put my robe on. I hear voices in the hall and my curiosity peaks. Before I can reach the door it swings open and he walks in. My eyes widen in surprise.

"What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question."

"It's in the middle of the night and you show up to my home that is not ok." His eyes widen.

"Your home? This is your home? Could have fooled me Mellie." I scoff I don't want to have this conversation I have no clue why he wants to have this conversation.

"Is there something wrong with the papers? I didn't ask for anything and I'm willing to give you joint legal and physical custody of Teddy." I am really confused why he's here.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now Mellie? You are going to stand there and pretend that it's perfectly normal that you just sprung divorce papers on me. That you left town with our son without so much as a word to me?"

"Are you going to stand there and pretend like the reason I was able to leave without you knowing is because you were off fucking your whore? Are you going to stand there and pretend like you haven't shit on me at every turn for the last six years. I'm over it Fitzgerald and I'm over you! I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. So sign the damn papers and leave me the hell alone!"

"No! It's not going to be that simple Melody. You don't get to walk away now. I wanted a divorce two years ago and you pulled every trick in the book so that I couldn't be happy now that you have Andrew you think I'm about to look the other way while you two go gallivanting off into the sunset?" Mellie looks at me confused. I think momentarily that maybe I have gotten this situation wrong, but the words are already out there and I can't take them back.

"Oh I see what this is about. You don't want me, but you don't want anyone else to have me. Is that what this is Fitz? You want to punish me because I didn't acquiesce to your demands and let you go off with your mistress. This isn't about Andrew or any other man. This is about you and I, this is about you being a shitty husband and an even worse father." I would never hit a woman but at this moment I want to slap the taste out of her mouth.

"You are damn lucky I'm not like my father." I can't help, but to roll my eyes and scoff. "Otherwise I'd slap the shit out of you for talking to me this way and insinuating I'm not a good father."

I step close to his face. "Since you are very much like your father go ahead and hit me and I'm not insinuating, I'm saying you are a horrible father." I can feel the venom boiling through my blood. I am not feeling hurt at this moment I am angry, angrier than I have ever been in my entire life. Angry that when I had a bad moment that was not my own fault, that he walked away from me. He made me out to be this villainous bitch that I'm not. I fail down on the job one time and my entire life was over.

"Mellie get out of my face. I won't give you the satisfaction of hitting you." I push her away from me, not trusting myself with her close proximity. She steps back into my personal space.

"Hit me Fitz it's what you want!" I push her away again.

"Mellie stop! I came here to talk to you."

"No you came here to intimidate me why else would you show up to my home at this time of the morning."

"This is not your fucking home!" She's back in my face pointing her finger at me.

"This is my home where I don't feel like a second class citizen to some whore!" I smack her finger out of my face.

"Don't call her a whore!"

"Olivia Pope is a whore! Whore whore whore!" I know I'm being completely immature and walking on thin ice and I don't care. He turns from me and I can tell he's trying to compose himself.

"I know what you're doing and it's not going to work." He states in a deadly still voice. "I won't be derailed from the conversation that we need to have."

"There is nothing for us to talk about. I want a divorce, I've had papers drawn up, I signed said papers and you need to do the same, end of."

"No….no!" He turns to me with fire blazing in his eyes. In one swift motion he clears the contents on top of my dresser as jewelry, mirrors and small trinkets go crashing to the floor. I stand rooted in place, shocked at his outburst. He stalks over to me and grabs my shoulders. "We are in this hell together and you won't be walking away, not until I say you can walk away." His fingers are biting into my flesh. I try to shrug him off.

"Get the fuck off me Fitz." I say trying to get away from him.

"I can't touch you now?" He states through clenched teeth. "Did you tell Andrew to get off of you?"  
>His fingers dig into my flesh even deeper at the thought of Andrew. I'd never realized before how much my affair with Andrew truly bothered him.<p>

"No I didn't as a matter of fact I begged for more. He satisfied me in ways that you never could." He grabs me even tighter. His jaw clinches and I know he's fighting to control his anger.

"I'm surprised his dick didn't freeze off after being in your frigid pussy." Mellie snatches away from me and slaps me across my face. The sting reverberates down my spine into my feet. I instinctually hold my face where she has just hit me, and that only serves to make the pain worse. This is not why I came here, it really isn't, but since we are here then we might as well finish it. "Too close to the truth huh Mellie?"

"At least he could keep it hard long enough to get inside of me!" I flinch at that verbal assault.

"I asked you never to bring that up again. It was an isolated incident."

"I asked you to do a lot of things namely love, honor and cherish me, but did you do that? And since when is two months isolated? You limp dick motherfucker!" I grab her face and push her against the wall. I can see the momentary terror in her eyes that she quickly tries to tamp down.

"Don't you fucking ever bring that up again! I'm not playing with you Mellie." I push her head into the wall harder before I release her face. Before I can step away she lunges at me. She starts to hit and scratch me like a rabid animal. I try to grab her arms to stop the assault but I just manage to get tangled in the hem of her rob which causes us both to tumble to the floor. Her momentary shock from falling gives me time to roll over her and use my body weight to pin her arms down by her side.

"Just sign the damn papers Fitzgerald!" Even splayed out on the floor with me using my body to stop her from hitting me she is unrelenting. I look down at her, I really look at her for the first time in a long time. She is red from exertion and her chest is heaving. She's beautiful. That train of thought surprises me.

"Get off me!" He looks up into my eyes.

"Are you going to stop hitting me?" I nod yes. He moves from on top of me and stands as soon as I am on my feet I swing on him, but I'm not fast enough. Fitz grabs my arms and pins them by my side before slamming me back into the door. The look in his eyes is terrifying, for a split second I wonder if he snaps my neck will the Secret Service hide my body for him.

"I knew I couldn't trust you. Any woman that allows my father to buy her can't be trusted. You never loved me did you Mellie? That's why it was so easy to turn away from me even after the rape? You didn't really want to be my wife anyway."

"That's right I didn't. I just let your father get away with raping me just for the hell of it. I figured hey I've already been brutally attacked I might as well get something out of it. I might as well give up my career and my aspirations so I can hold this man up that I don't even love and don't really want to be with. I'll use my rape to get him what he wants because I don't love him." The last of her statement is sobbed out and I know she hates that she is being vulnerable. I release her arms and step back. I go to try to comfort her, but she pushes me away.

"I'm sorry Mellie. I'm sorry for everything." Mellie had began to walk away from me, but she abruptly turns around and gets in my face again with that damn finger.

"Oh you're sorry alright, the sorriest motherfucker I've ever seen." My hands are on her again before I know it. This woman makes me lose control and any sense of being rational. I grab her around her shoulders and crush her mouth to mine. I don't know why I'm doing this, where this intense desire I have for her is coming from, but I want her.

I want her like I've never wanted anyone in my life. She doesn't struggle at first I can tell I've caught her off guard and I use this to my advantage, quickly removing her robe to reveal a curve hugging satin night gown that stops just above her knees. My hold around her shoulders softens and I begin to draw her into me. Mellie snaps out of her trance and pushes away from me, but I won't be deterred. I grab her hips and pull her back to me as I begin to make my way down the side of her face to her collarbone. I lick and nip at it and she moans. I still know her body so well. She tries again to get away, but I won't let her go.

"Stop fighting me." I go back to my previous motions as my hand begins to run up her thigh and underneath her nightgown. My hand brushes again warn flesh and I realize she isn't wearing any underwear.

I have no clue why I'm allowing this to continue, but I can't stop myself. I know this is a momentary distraction technique, but the little emotions building up in my body doesn't care right now. His hand is running up my thigh. When he realizes I don't have underwear on he pulls back and looks at me surprised. I reach forward and begin to pull his polo over his head, throwing it to the floor when I'm done. My hands run through the soft down hair on his chest. Fitz captures my mouth and slides his tongue in past my parted lips. His hands push up my night gown and brings it over my head in one swift motion. Soon it feels like his fingers is everywhere. He teases my nipples and then his hand runs slowly down my body until he reaches the heat between my legs where he gently manipulates me.

Mellie moans into my mouth as a stroke her. She reaches between us and unbuckles my belt and unfastens my jeans before pulling the zipper down. Her hand reaches into my boxers and begins to stroke me. I pull her hand away knowing I won't last long before I pull my jeans and boxers down and hoist her up. I carry Mellie over to the bed and lay her down, before climbing on top of her. She opens her legs wide and I can tell from the glistening folds that she is ready for me. I slip into her tight heat and began to move inside of her. We set a frantic rhythm and I know neither of us is going to last long. After a couple minutes of stroking Mellie begins to clinch around me, her fingers dig into my back.

"I'm close." She hisses out. My pace picks up and I begin to brush against her g-spot with the tip of my penis. "Fuck" She says in a breathy voice. He leg tightens around my waist and she digs her heels into my lower back.

"I'm about to cum." Fitz says through gritted teeth. He shits his weight and slides in deeper and that is all it takes for me to come undone. I moan out his name as I reach my peak. I hear him finish and as he comes down he continues to slowly move inside of me. Fitz bends down and kisses me before pulling out of me and laying on his back. He reaches for me but I shrug him off, before exiting the bed. I throw my robe on, when I turn around he is looking at me funny.

"This doesn't change anything I still want a divorce." I say before stepping into the bathroom and closing the door.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N Short update I'm going out of town for work and probably won't be able to update this week. Hope you all enjoy this update and thank you for all the kind reviews.

"Mellie get your ass out here right now!" He's pounding on the bathroom door. I'm sitting on the closed toilet staring at the door. I'm wondering if he can break down the door and if he does what will he do to me. I know he's angry, angrier than I've ever seen him. "If you don't open this fucking door I swear I will break it down! I'm not playing with you woman!" He's yelling at the top of his lungs.

"Stop yelling you're going to wake Teddy up."

"Open the damn door Mellie!"

"No! Not with you out there acting like a maniac." He pounds on the door a few more times and then there is silence. I breathe a sigh of relief that he's apparently given up, but within seconds a loud crash occurs as the door swings open. Splinters of wood litter the floor. He's kicked the door open and my eyes are wide with fear. He stalks over to me and grabs me by the upper arm pulling me off the toilet. He has never manhandled me like this before I wonder if I've pushed him too far.

"What do you mean you still want a divorce?" His face is mere inches from mine and his eyes are wild with anger. I can truly admit that in this moment I am afraid of him.

"You're hurting me Fitz." I see the terror in her eyes and I feel regret for reacting this way, but she is making me crazy. I loosen my hold on her, but I don't let her go.

"We aren't getting a divorce so you might as well get over it and come back home." She shakes her head no and my frustration level reaches its peak. I jerk her toward me until her body is flush with mine. "I'm not signing those papers, I'll never let you go."

"Why are you doing this? I'm giving you what you want, I'm willing to walk away without a fight."

"If I can't have you no one will." That statement shocks even me. Feelings that I thought were long gone or at least long buried are bubbling to the surface. I still love my wife, I still desire my wife. Am I completely and utterly angry and frustrated with her, yes I am, but the feelings I have tried to rid myself of are still there.

"Why do you hate me so?" Her voice is small and I can sense that she is terrified.

"I don't hate you. You drive me crazy and you make me angry, but hate is not what I feel."

"Let me go Fitz." I release her arm and she shakes her head. "I mean let me go Fitz." He closes his eyes and shakes his head no. I thought this was going to be a lot easier than it is I can admit I am not prepared to deal with his reaction. "I'm not coming back to D.C." He opens his eyes and stares at me he takes a deep breath before speaking.

"Always have to do things the hard way huh Mellie? Well if that's what you want, but know that I'm not signing those papers and you will come back home with my son."

"And how do you suppose you are going to make me do that Fitz? I'm a grown woman I don't need your permission to do anything."

"Is that a challenge Melody?" He's in my face again and I step back.

"This is not a game Fitzgerald this is our lives. I'm done with you and this marriage and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it." He laughs but there is no mirth.

"I'm going to my hotel room to get a few hours of sleep before I return to D.C." He steps away from me and makes a move to leave.

"So you aren't even going to see your son?"

"I'll see him soon enough." Those are the last words he speaks before he walks out of the bathroom and out of the bedroom. I don't make a move to follow him, I'm rooted in place, unbelieving of the night I just had. Once I know that he is gone my body sags under the weight of all the turmoil I have been holding in, I sink to the floor and despite my best efforts to keep all the emotions in I can't. My legs are drawn up to my chest as I let it all out. I need to release it all before Teddy is awake, I need to be back to his strong mom.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N Wasn't even supposed to be updating, but the premise of this chapter struck so I had to write it out before I forgot. I will regret staying up this late in the morning. Again thank you all for the kind reviews. Please check out my other fics if you haven't done so.

It's been three days since I heard from Fitz. I assume that he went back to D.C. and took up with Olivia again, forgetting all about me. I am waiting for the papers to be returned. He must be having his lawyer look through them. Teddy and I spent the day at my parent's house. It was nice to have a moment to forget about all my troubles. We are being driven back to my rental when I notice several SUV's and cars sitting outside the house. The front door is open and agents are going in and out of the house. I notice a few of them removing luggage.

When the car stops I tell Teddy that I will be right back and I jump out of the car.

"What are you doing?" I ask walking up to one of the agents.

"We have orders to remove your belongings ma'am."

"What? Am I being evicted? I paid for a year." I am confused. The agents continue packing my belongings into one of the SUV's, I continue to stand dumbfounded. I stop an agent carrying a box of Teddy's toys. "Under whose orders are you doing this?"

"The president ma'am." I see red.

"For what purposes?" I say walking after the agent. He stops and turns to me.

"Ma'am we have orders to remove yours and your son's belongings and to bring the both of you back to D.C."

"Why don't you call the president and tell him that I'm not coming?" The agent shook his head.

"Sorry ma'am but that is not an option." I run toward the car with Teddy and attempt to remove him from his seat, but I am grabbed by an agent. He hoists me in the air and carries me to the passenger side of the car before dumping me into the backseat.

I scream at the top of my lungs when he grabs me and I struggle, but I'm just making myself tired. "Let me out of here!" I notice that the child safety locks are on and I can't open the door. Teddy is looking at me terrified and I know I have to calm down.

"Mama what's wrong? Why you upset?"

"I'm fine honey, its fine." I say ruffling his hair. I close my eyes trying to calm myself. I bite my lower lip trying to will the tears not to come. I just don't understand why he's doing this. He hates me so much that he will do anything to punish me. One of the agents gets into the car and speaks into his mic.

"Swan is in the pond." I imagine he's talking to Fitz and my ire rises, but I have to keep calm for Teddy's sake.

We arrive at the Air Force base and I see the jet waiting for me. A tear falls down my face and I swipe it away. I don't want to go back, but I will go for now and then figure out another way.

D.C.

I get word that they have Mellie, apparently she went without much of a fight. Probably owing to the fact that Teddy is with her. I know she is far from happy, but this was the only way I could think of to get her back to D.C., I know that if she comes home I can show her how things are going to be different, how I will be different. I'm having a difficult time concentrating on work. I keep looking at my watch anticipating when her plane will touch down. I have notified my agents that I want to be at the Air Force base when her plane arrives. I decide to go up to the residence to change clothes to kill some time. Finally I get word that her plane will be touching down within the hour. I leave the White House so that I can greet Mellie and Teddy.

I'm anxiously waiting in the car for the plane to come in. Finally I see the plane taxing down the runway and my heart speeds up. I know she is going to be furious with me. My agent comes around and opens the door for me. I wait on the tarmac, finally the plane door opens. I can hear my heart beating in my ears. I am suddenly feeling warm as the anticipation takes over me. Finally I see her step into the doorway carrying Teddy on her hip. I begin to walk towards them, when Teddy sees me he begins to squirm in her arms. Mellie slowly walks down the stairs and as soon as her feet hit the ground Teddy wiggles free and she sets him down on the ground. He runs toward me.

"Dada!" I can't help but to smile he is so happy to see me. When he reaches me I pick him up, hug him tightly and kiss his cheek. Mellie walks slowly towards us. I close the gap between us, I use my free hand to pull her to me, kissing her jawline. She tenses and disengages from my touch almost immediately.

The ride back to the White House is silent. Mellie spends the entire time staring out the window. Teddy is filling me in on his trip to North Carolina, none the wiser of the tension between his parents.

I refuse to let him see me cry. I refuse to let him see me cry is the mantra I say over and over in my head. I can't even look at him so I stare out the window the entire time. As we get closer to the White House I dread this even more. Finally we arrive and I look over briefly to see that Teddy has fallen asleep. It's late in the evening so I know that Fitz will be done in the West Wing. We exit the car and I reach for Teddy, but Fitz gently lifts him out of his seat and carries him into the house and to his room. I follow him preparing to get Teddy ready for bed.

"I have this you can go settle in." Those are the first words we have spoken to each other since my arrival.

I just nod and leave the room. I immediately head for the Queen's bedroom, once I reach the door I turn the knob and notice that it won't budge, the door is locked. I walk down the hall to the Lincoln bedroom and have the same results.

"All the bedroom doors are locked, except the President's bedroom of course." I notice her going from room to room trying to find a place to stay. I had anticipated this and had the rooms locked. I even had the sitting and living rooms locked in anticipation. I am not trying to torture her, but I want her back in my bed, nothing else will do.

"I'm not sleeping in the bed with you, you can forget it." She begins to walk away and I know she is leaving the residence.

"I hope you aren't about to go to Blair House because you'll find the same results." She whips around and gives me a cold steel blue stare.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I know she is trying to be strong, but I hear the anguish in her voice.

"Because I love you and I don't want our marriage to end. You belong here Mellie, with me your husband." She scoffs and shakes her head.

"You just want to punish me for not giving you the divorce when you wanted it. How long are you going to do this? Is there anything I can do to get you to stop this madness?"

"I'm not punishing you how many times do I have to tell you that! Are you just going to stand there and not acknowledge that I just told you that I love you?" We stand staring at each other. I will not acknowledge the lies he is telling me. Suddenly he grabs my hand and pulls me towards the master bedroom. Once we are in he closes the door and I hear the distinct snicker of a door being locked. "I didn't want to keep having that conversation where anyone could hear us." I stand with my back to him refusing to look at him.

"Did you have to lock the door?"

"If I thought that you would have a conversation with me without running I wouldn't have, but seeing you current mood I know that's not going to happen. To answer your question yes I had to lock the door." I walk over to the wing back chair near the fireplace and sit down. "How long are we going to do this Mellie? Why don't we just start working on our marriage? You know I'm not signing those papers, that I'm not letting you go."

"That's not your call Fitzgerald! I want a divorce and I will get that divorce."

"So you say. I'm going to take a shower do you want to join me?"

"Fuck off!" He just smiles and shakes his head as he goes into the bathroom. I am so angry I could scream and I do. I also grab a folder of papers that he has sitting on the nightstand and I throw them. I am in the middle of a full blown temper tantrum and I could care less. I throw a few more things on the floor before the utter exhaustion that I feel begins to take over me. I try to will my body not to go to sleep, but I can't hold the sleepiness at bay. I walk back over to the chair and sit down. I feel my eye lids getting heavy and I only plan to close my eyes briefly.

When I exit the bathroom I notice Mellie sitting by the fireplace, completely knocked out. She's beautiful and I smile. I look around the room and see that she had a tantrum while I was in the bathroom and that causes me to laugh slightly, she is something else. Quietly I walk over to her and lift her in my arms. She stirs a bit but does not wake up. I walk Mellie over to the bedroom and lay her down gently. I look at her again before turning and heading into the closet. I grab her a night gown before returning to the main room. Mellie has turned on her side, but she is still fast asleep.

As gently as I can I begin to remove her clothes, as every inch of skin is revealed I feel a stirring in my groin. I close my eyes tightly knowing this is not the time. I strip her of her clothes and I know she must be exhausted because she does not wake up she is dead to the world. Gently I pull the night gown over her head and cover her with a blanket. I reach down and kiss the side of her head.

"I do love you. I know it has not always seemed that way, but I do." I look at her a moment longer before standing up and grabbing a pillow off the bed. I move to the couch and lay down. I look at her from the couch sleeping peacefully and I feel everything is right with the world knowing she is with me again.


	6. Chapter 6

One Month Later

Mellie barely speaks to me and she spends most of her time holed up in the residence. We have not made any headway in our relationship. She still looks at me skeptically. I have not seen Olivia in months and I am committed to saving my marriage. I walk into the residence and Mellie is curled up on the bed reading. She keeps her back to me and doesn't acknowledge my presence. She has accepted us sleeping in the same room, I think she was just tired of fighting me, but she won't let me touch her and she doesn't talk to me.

"How long is this going to go on?" I stand before her she does not look up from her book and does not answer me. I stand quietly for a few seconds waiting. "Mellie I'm speaking to you." Mellie takes a deep breath before looking up at me blue eyes blazing.

"I'm here Fitzgerald albeit against my will." She doesn't say anything else as she looks back down at her book.

"We should go to counseling. We have a lot to work on and I don't think we can do it alone."

She takes a deep breath before rolling into a sitting position. Mellie swings her legs around and onto the floor before standing. I look at her curiously. She steps around me and heads toward the bedroom door.

"Where are you going?"

"Any place where you aren't." She states without ever turning to look at me. Mellie walks out of the room and I'm left feeling stupid and probably looking equally as stupid.

I can't believe his nerve to show up and think I need to talk to him. I don't owe him anything he should be thankful I haven't made a big stink about the fact that he basically kidnapped me and is holding me against my will. I can't go anywhere outside the White House without him having a full report of where I'm going, who I will be seeing and when I'll be back. I feel like a prisoner.

No matter how much he tries to make me stay, I'm not staying. As soon as I can figure a way out I will be gone. Of course there are extenuating circumstances that I had not counted on, but as usual I can figure out my way around those things.

I decide to head down to my office. It's late and there won't be many people around. I am acutely aware that I have agents trailing my every move. I'm rounding the corner to my office when I nearly run smack into Andrew.

"Mellie so sorry?" He starts to walk away but I grab his hand.

"Don't go so fast." I notice out the corner of my eye one of my agents staring at me intently.

"I really should be going Mellie."

"We can still be friends Andrew. I think we both could use a friend in this situation."

"We are friends that won't change." He looks down at his watch, I know at this time of night he doesn't really need to be anywhere pressing.

"OK well I'll see you around." He nods before walking away quickly. Fitzgerald really does take everything from me. Andrew and I were friendly before our affair and now that has been taken away because of him. I continue to my office, I ask the agents to remain outside. I don't need them standing over me watching me read.

I find that I am reading the same sentences over and over. The exhaustion falls on me like a ton of bricks. I decide to lay my head back and rest my eyes.

I look at the clock and notice it's well past midnight. Mellie has not come back to bed and I begin to worry. I throw on my robe and go in search for her. When I reach her office I see her agents posted outside her door.

"Is she in there?"

"Yes sir." I go to move past the agent, but he stops me. "Sir can I speak with you?" I nod yes. "Mrs. Grant was…." He hesitates.

"She was what?"

"She was being very friendly with Vice President Nichols." I feel the fury rise within my body.

"Thank you." I move past him and enter her office. I stop short when I see Mellie in her office chair sleeping. "Wake up!" I yell. She jumps up.

"What…what's going on?"

"What did you say to Andrew?" I know she is disoriented but I need answers and I need them now.

"I have no clue what you are talking about Fitzgerald." She stands and tries to walk past me, but I block her movement.

"Answer my question." I sigh knowing that I won't be able to leave if I don't answer him.

"I just spoke to him it's not a big deal."

"What did you speak to him about?"

"God damn it Fitz I said hi to the man is that against the fucking law?"

"You're getting very defensive."

"Because I'm tired of your shit. You are the one that's fucked anything with a skirt on. I was only with Andrew after dealing with your infidelity for so many years. I had the opportunity years ago to cheat with and I didn't. I decided to be a loyal and faithful wife because my marriage vows meant something to me. I can't say the same for you."

"Ok fine let's not argue about this."

"We aren't arguing I'm just stating some facts." I stand and walk around him and out of my office.

Three Weeks Later

I may be delusional, but I think Mellie is starting to come around. She seems to not be as hostile toward me as she was before. I've relaxed some of the surveillance I have on her, I don't think she is going to try to leave again.

I'm going over my overnight briefs when I hear a phone ringing. I reach into my desk and pull out a phone that I haven't heard ring in a long time.

"Hello." Olivia is on the other line and she asks me to come to her place. I hesitate, but I can hear in her voice that she needs me. "I'll be there."

"Where have you been?" She's sitting in her favorite chair staring into the fire. She does not look my way when she speaks.

"I had some business to attend to." She scoffs and shakes her head.

"Just when I was starting to stupidly believe that you would be faithful to me you go and pull this shit."

"What are you talking about?" She jumps up and stands in my face.

"You were with her!" Her teeth is clinched and there is fire in her eyes. I know that she is angry, but I feel a small amount of joy that she is angry. It means that she still cares about me.

"Mellie it's not what you think." She walks away from me, shaking her head.

"I can't believe I was starting to think you were sincere." My heart melts and I walk closer to her.

"You should believe me Mels I haven't done anything."

"Were you with her tonight?" I hear the soft sigh and I know that he was with her. I had began to feel that Fitz was being sincere about trying to make our marriage work and with the news that I received it was imperative that we did try. I finally decided I needed to come clean. I went looking for him to tell him and found that he was nowhere to be found. His schedule was clear for the evening and I couldn't get a straight answer from anyone and that was when I knew.

"Yes I was, but not for what you are thinking." I turn around a look at him.

"What am I thinking?"

"That I was having sex with Olivia. That's not what I was doing, she needed my help."

"With?"

"I can't Mels I'm sorry but I can't tell you." I laugh but I'm not joyful.

"Of course you can't. Same ol Fitz and same ol gullible Mellie. Well no more I'm done you can keep me hostage in this White House for the remainder of your term, but we will never be together and I will be divorcing you."

"There are things that I do as the president that I cannot share with you, you know that. Why is this any different?"

"What could you have possibly needed to do for Olivia Pope your mistress…"

"Former mistress." He cuts me off.

"Olivia Pope your mistress that you cannot tell your wife about and was in the formal capacity as President of the United States?" He just stands and stares at me with a blank expression on his face.

"Have you stopped playing stupid games and unlocked the other bedrooms, because I'm not sleeping in here with you."

"You're not going to hear me out?"

"For what? So you can lie to me again?"

"I'm not lying! I didn't go there as her lover I went as her friend, a friend who is very powerful and could help her." I can't stand the sight of him any longer. Just standing here with him is making me sick to my stomach. I turn and walk out of the bedroom, he's hot on my heels.

"Why do you run? Every time things get rough you run." She whips around to face me.

"Are you describing yourself right now? I don't run I dig in the trenches and I fight. I hold up the walls of our home with one hand and you with the other all the while juggling kids and career. What do you do Fitz when it gets rough?" I know it's a rhetorical question, but I feel compelled to respond.

"I'm not running. I'm right here. I'm fighting for our marriage, our family. You want to run, you want to give in."

"Because I'm tired. Can't you see that or are you so selfish and self centered that all you see is what you want? And I'm not entirely convinced that I am what you want. You just want to prove a point."

"I am, that I love you and I want our marriage to work, that I believe our marriage can work."

"It's over just accept it and move on." She goes to walk way but I reach out and grab her arm pulling her back to me.

"If we were over you wouldn't be as upset with me as you are right now. Apathy is the opposite of love not hate. You still have feelings enough for me to be angry, there is still hope for us and I'm not giving up." She snatches her arm away and looks at me one last time before walking away. I don't go after her I know she needs some time to think and I will allow her that, but this thing between Mellie and I isn't over ,it will never be over as long as we are both still breathing.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N Just wanted to check in to make sure the changing voices in the fic isn't hard to follow and confusing? Please let me know in the reviews.

I don't know what to do. I've really gotten myself backed into a corner and I'm running out of time. I'm so engrossed in my thoughts that I don't see Andrew until I've run into him.

"So sorry." I say looking up at him as he holds me to keep me from falling to the ground.

"It's fine, you were really in your head just now." I smile at him as the pieces start to fit together. I pat his chest before stepping away.

"Thank you for saving me." I know he's wondering what I'm talking about, but I just smile at him and keep on my way. I am feeling much better about this day.

I've been in my office all day planning my next steps. I quickly glance over at the clock and know that if I'm going to do this I have to do it now. Fitz is away, but will be back tomorrow night and I know once he's back I won't have a moments peace.

Finally I've gotten through all of my duties and I rush to the residence. Once I'm ensconced in the residence I can have a moment of privacy without agents breathing down my neck. I walk into the closet and look through my dresses. I pull out a curve hugging red dress with a low cut neckline. I shower and make sure to perfume myself before shimmying into the dress. I call down to Andrew's office and am notified that he's still there.

I dial his cell and he picks up immediately.

"Mellie" I hear the question in his voice, he's wondering why I'm calling him on his cell.

"Andrew I….I was wondering if we could talk?"

"Mellie I don't think that's a good idea."

"But I'm just so lonely. I don't have any other real friends and you said we were still friends."

"OK" I hear his faint sigh. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Not on the phone Andrew. Come up to the residence."

"Mellie….."

"Please." He pauses briefly.

"Ok I'll be up in ten minutes." I hang up the phone smiling triumphantly. True to his word Andrew arrives ten minutes later.

"You know he'll find out I was up here and have a hissy fit."

"I don't care what he does. He went to see Olivia." Andrew nods at me regretfully. "He claims it wasn't for sex, but of course I don't believe him." Andrew sits on the couch as far away from me as possible. I slid next to him.

"Mellie…" I lean close to him.

"Yes Andrew?" He blinks a few times and looks away. I bend down and my lips brush his jawline. My hand slowly runs down the front of his shirt until I reach his waistband. He turns to me and captures my mouth. The kiss intensifies as Andrew begins to unzip my dress. I know it's risky what we are doing, but it's absolutely necessary. He begins to kiss down my neck as his hands run along the exposed skin of my back.

I start to feel a familiar sensation and I shut my eyes trying to will it away. My mouth begins to water and my entire body quakes with what it knows is coming.

_Please not now please not now. _

I have an internal mantra going. Andrew oblivious to my current plight begins to move his hands up my thighs and underneath my dress. I can't concentrate on him any longer as my body begins to betray me. Finally matter wins over mind and I have to push him away.

"What's wrong?" I can't answer him as I run to the nearest trash can and empty the contents of my stomach in it. I dry heave for another five minutes before I am able to compose myself. When I straighten up I notice that Andrew is looking at me strangely.

"Must be something I ate." He doesn't look convinced.

"Have you told him?" I can tell that he's trying to probe me for information.

"Told him what?"

"Mellie….I'm not really sure what to think right now. I'm trying not to think about what I believe you were planning here, but I can't help to wonder."

I grab a Kleenex and wipe my mouth before pouring myself a glass of water and taking a sip trying to rinse the taste of bile out of it.

"Andrew I was planning on seducing you because I wanted to have sex with you."

"This isn't about me at all? This is you trying to get back at your husband. I won't be a pawn in whatever game you have going with Fitz." I walk over to him and grab his hand.

"Andrew you know that I care deeply for you."

He snatches his hand away. "But you love him and you're carrying his child."

"Andrew I just ate something bad."

"Stop Mellie don't lie to me like this. Were you going to have sex with me and try to pass his child off as mine?" My eyes widen not at the absurdity of his words, but that he has figured out my plan.

"Andrew I'm sorry. I just can't do this."

"You think an alternative is to lie to your husband and to me?"

"If he thinks you are the father he'll let me get the divorce and then once it's final I can tell him, but he won't be able to make me stay." He looks at me shocked and disgusted.

"I know that Fitz hasn't been the best husband and I know that he's hurt you, but you can't play with people's lives like this."

"How did you figure this out?"

"Just a gut reaction. Thought I'd throw it out there and you didn't deny it." I look at him truly regretful for the situation we are in.

"Do you hate me?"

"No I could never hate you, but I can't be involved in whatever is going on in your marriage. It's not fair to me, it's not fair to any of us." I nod and step to Andrew.

"I'm sorry." I am truly sorry for involving him in my drama. I wrap my arms around him and hug him tightly.

"What the fuck is going on here?" I close my eyes not believing my luck. I step away from Andrew and come face to face with a very angry Fitz.

"I was just leaving." Andrew turns and makes a move to leave, but Fitz blocks his path.

"I asked you two a question!"

"Mellie was upset so I came to comfort her." Fitz's eyes turn into slits and he looks like he's ready to pounce.

"Stay the fuck away from my wife."

"Maybe if you took care of her she wouldn't need to find comfort with me." I'm shocked at the turn of events. I can't help, but to wonder if Andrew is going to help me out after all.

"I take care of my wife just fine. Don't worry about our relationship."

"Oh you're taking care of her when you go see your mistress?"

I look over at her not believing that she told Andrew about my visit to Olivia's. I wasn't supposed to be back so early and I caught them off guard. I notice Mellie is wearing a form fitting dress that leaves very little to the imagination and a pair of come fuck me heels. I am certain that this is retaliation for whatever she thinks I did with Olivia, but it doesn't make me any less angry.

"Andrew maybe you should go." He turns to her and nods before eyeing me down one last time. Andrew walks out of the residence and I set my eyes on Mellie.

"I don't even know what to say to you right now."

"Good because I'm not interested in hearing anything you have to say."

"You actually brought him up here to fuck him? What were you thinking Mellie? Anyone could have walked in and found you two."

"I was just doing what I learned from you."

"Just stop it. You aren't a fucking angel so stop acting like I'm the only one that has done something wrong in this marriage. Yes I cheated on you, yes I thought I was in love with another woman and I didn't treat you like you deserved, but you have certainly not been innocent in this thing and I think it's unfair to try to judge which one of us has committed the biggest sin against our marriage."

She laughs and shakes her head.

"That's your way of not taking responsibility for your actions."

"No it's not, this is my way of trying to move forward. We aren't getting a divorce Mellie. You can try to bring Andrew into this to make me angry, but we are in this and that's final."

"We aren't getting a divorce as soon as I would have liked, but we will get a divorce Fitzgerald. I'm done with it all."

"Ok Melody whatever you say." I'm tired and I'm not in the mood to fight with her tonight. I walk to her and kiss her on the cheek before stepping away. "I'm going to take a shower and then I'm heading to bed. I'm glad I'm home and it's good to see you. I missed you." I smile at her but she turns her back to me. "I'll see you in our bedroom." Mellie doesn't say anything else and she keeps her back to me.

I let out a deep sigh once he's left the room. I realize what a fucked up place I'm in right now. I had really thought my plan A would work and I don't have a plan B, but telling Fitz is not an option, at least not at the moment. I have to get him to sign the divorce papers first.


	8. Chapter 8

1 Month Later

It's getting harder each day to hide this pregnancy from Fitz. My morning sickness is ferocious and this baby seems hell bent on making its presence known quicker than in any of my other pregnancies. I stand in the closet looking for something to wear. Not many of my clothes fit properly anymore. After searching through racks of clothes I know I will need to have some clothes brought to me. There isn't anything in my closet that will conceal my stomach.

"I'm surprised you're still not dressed." Fitz walks into the closet with just a towel on. I had planned to be dressed and out of the room by the time he finished his shower.

"Can't find anything to wear." He looks around the closet and laughs.

"You're kidding right?"

"No." I'm getting defensive although I don't know why.

"Mels you have a closet full of clothes surely you can find something to wear."

"I think I'd know if I could find anything to wear Fitzgerald." He turns and looks at me surprised by my anger.

"Ok fine you don't have anything to wear."

"Don't patronize me!" I close my eyes trying to get my emotions together. I don't want to tip him off, but my hormones have been all over the place lately.

"What's wrong? You haven't been quite yourself lately." I walk closer to her trying to gauge her reaction. Mellie hasn't been exactly happy with me of late, but she's been even more so snippy than usual.

"Of course I'm not myself. I'm being held hostage by a husband I want to divorce." Normally those types of statements would slice and dice through me and I'd back off, but not this time. Something else is going on and I want to know what it is.

"Ok other than that what's wrong?" I can tell she is stunned that I know that there is something other than our current situation that is bothering her. She doesn't give me enough credit for how well I know her.

"Nottt….nothing Fitz." She's rattled. Mellie tries to walk away, but I gently grab her arm to stop her.

"Please tell me." He's pleading with me and my resolve is starting to melt. I don't know how much longer I can keep this a secret anyway.

"Fitz…I'm." My statement is cut off by a phone ringing.

"Just ignore it. What were you saying?" I start to continue when the phone stops ringing, but then it starts again. I look around for the offending noise. I walk over to the pants he'd worn yesterday and fish out a cell phone that does not look familiar. "Mels it's fine just ignore it." He's nervous I can tell when he walks over to me. Fitz reaches to take the phone out of my hand when it starts to ring again.

"Hello" I answer the phone before he can take it from me. I hear her voice. "It's Olivia Pope for you." I push the phone into his chest and walk out of the closet. I can't believe I almost told him about the baby. Now I know he can't know until after the divorce is final.

Mellie was on the verge of telling me what was bothering her and of course with my luck my phone started to ring. I gave that phone to Olivia so that we could communicate secretly and now I hate myself for it. We are no longer involved, but Mellie doesn't believe that and after what happened today I don't blame her.

"Mels" I walk into her office and notice she seems to be staring off into space. She jumps when she hears my voice.

"What?" I take a deep breath before sitting in the chair across from her.

"You were about to tell me what was going on earlier. I'd like to continue that conversation." She looks at me like I have two heads.

"How was your little chat with Olivia?" I should have known she wouldn't let it go.

"Mellie it's not what you think."

"Then tell me what it is."

"I can't."

"What could you possibly be doing with your former mistress that you can't tell your wife?" She puts air quotes around the word former.

"I'm not involved with her anymore, not romantically."

"You have no respect for me do you?"

"Mellie come on don't do this."

"You don't do this! Don't come here like you don't still carry around the secret sex phone that you have for your mistress. If it's over then why do you have that phone still Fitz!" I hate that I am becoming hysterical but he has me so angry right now.

"Damnit Mellie! I'm not fucking her or anyone for that matter most of all you since you won't let me touch you!" I can't believe he has the nerve to be angry that I haven't been intimate with him.

"Oh you mad? Well you can stay mad, you'll never touch me again!" I close my eyes and count to ten. I do not want to argue with her.

"Mellie I don't want to fight. I just want to know what's wrong." His concern causes my angry bravado to be killed. I know Fitz and I know when he's being sincere and he really wants to know what's wrong with me.

"Fitz why is Olivia calling you?" He shakes his head and takes a deep breath.

"I don't want you involved Mellie. I did some things that could get me not only impeached, but thrown in jail and I'm trying to fix it. I don't want you involved." I know I shouldn't, but I believe him and I'm concerned.

"You want our marriage to work and you want us to be partners again."

"Yes, but I also want to protect you, Karen and Teddy like I wasn't able to protect Gerry."

"Does this have something to do with his death?" He runs his fingers through his hair and stands up. Fitz starts to pace and I know I'm close.

"I'm his mother I deserve to know."

"Mellie I'm not entirely sure of all the details. I just made some mistakes because I was blinded by…. I made a mistake and I'm working with Olivia to fix the situation. This has nothing to do with us being together. Please just trust me." He is pleading with me. I nod at him and he looks relieved.

"Fine I won't ask you about it anymore."

"Now what's wrong with you?"

"Fitz….." He shakes his head.

"Don't Fitz me. Tell me what's wrong." I'm battling with myself. I don't know how long I can keep this a secret and he seems to really have dug in so I don't know if I'll be able to get a divorce before it's obvious that I'm pregnant.

"I need to go away for awhile." He bucks his eyes.

"Go where?"

"I want to visit my parents."

"Mellie…"

"I promise I'll come back." I can't believe I have to plead with him to let me leave D.C.

"How long?" I do a quick calculation in my head of how long I need.

" Just a couple weeks." He starts to laugh.

"Yeah….no." He deadpans.

"Why?"

"Because a couple weeks will be longer than a couple weeks. I'll have some free time in a week we can go visit them together."

"They don't want to see you Fitz." He smirks.

"Hmmm we'll see about that. Oh and Mellie I'll find out sooner rather than later what is really going on with you." He stands and walks out of my office leaving me frowning at his last statement.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N Writing this bad boy was a struggle and a half. Took me about 3 days when I can usually write these in one sitting. Hope you enjoy I am really working through some writer's block and my mom will be in town next week so not sure when I'll have another update. In the meantime check out my other fics if you've read them...read them again. lol

"Mellie are you ready yet!" I hear him calling my name, but I've locked myself in the bathroom overcome with morning sickness, actually it's not even morning. My sickness doesn't care what time of day it is. I feel like I'm being punished because I haven't told Fitz about the baby. My body heaves again as another wave of nausea over takes me. I silently pray that he doesn't come near the bathroom. I close my eyes tightly trying to compose myself and will the sick feeling away. Finally I feel that my stomach has settled enough for me to leave the bathroom.

I stand from the floor and look in the mirror. My eyes are blood shot and I'm sweaty from the effort. My throat is raw from the acidic burn of the bile.

"Mellie" I hear him right outside the door. He tries to turn the knob, but it won't budge because its locked. He begins to knock. "Mellie you aren't getting out of this we are going to visit your parents….together." I take a deep breath annoyed by his antics. He doesn't give me a moments peace anymore. He knocks on the door again. I go and open leaving his fist hanging in the air in mid-knock.

"I'm not trying to get out of anything. Going to see my parents was my idea remember?" I say as I walk past him.

"You ok?"

"Yes I just needed a moment of solitude. I don't get that very often these days since you always up in my shit." I can tell from his expression that he's shocked by my words.

"So it's damn if I do, damn if I don't with you Mellie." I take a deep breath not really wanting to have this conversation.

"There's a right way to act like you love someone and a wrong way."

"Oh I'm loving you wrong?"

"You're pretending to love that's why it's wrong." I sigh, looking at her I know that she is still not convinced of how much I love her. That this is not an act.

"Mellie baby I'm not pretending. I love you I have never stopped loving you. I know that I didn't always show, but that things are different now, I'm different."

"Forgive me if I'm not convinced. Excuse me I need to make sure that I have everything packed." She walks around me and goes into the closet to grab her bags.

"Let me, I've already sent Teddy's things downstairs." I grab her bags and walk them into the hall where the butler takes them from me. I peak back into the room. "Mels you ready?" She nods yes and walks over to the door. There is something about her that I just can't put my finger on. "Baby everything ok?"

"Yes." She walks around me. I roll my eyes and shake my head knowing this is going to be a long week.

Asheville

Mellie and I arrive at her parent's house. I wanted to stay at a hotel, but Mellie insisted that she was going to stay at her parent's house. We enter the house and her mother comes over and hugs Mellie tightly like she hasn't seen her in years. Her mother was always over dramatic. After greeting Mellie and Teddy she looks at me.

"Fitz it's good to see you again." She hugs me lightly before moving away. I used to have a good relationship with her parents until they found out about my infidelities. I guess I can't exactly blame them for hating me. If someone treated Karen the way that I've treated Mellie I would be furious.

Mellie and I go up to the guest room and get settled in. "That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."

"My mother is a lady Fitz what did you expect her to do?" She says snidely as she begins to unpack her things. I walk over to her and touch her shoulder. She turns to me.

"Mels when are you going to believe that things are different now, that I'm different?"

"When hell freezes over." She gives me a saccharine sweet smile before she turns and continues to unpack. I decide that this is fruitless and I walk out of the room.

I find Mellie's dad sitting in the backyard smoking a cigar.

"Mind if I join you?" He motions to the empty seat next to his.

"Care for a cigar?" I shake my head no I was never one for the cigars. He nods and continues to stare off into the distance. I'm not exactly sure what to say to him. "You serious about being with my daughter this time?" He speaks without ever looking my way.

"Yes sir I am. I made a lot of mistakes, made a lot of wrong assumptions, but I'm in it. I love your daughter she's a remarkable woman."

"Don't fuck this up again Fitz, you won't get another chance." I knew that he was right. I was shocked that he wasn't reading me the riot act.

"I'm surprised you aren't trying to strangle me right now."

"Don't think I haven't thought about it, but I know despite all the issues you two have she loves you. There was a time that you made her happy and I hope that you can get back to that. If you can't then you need to leave her alone." He looks at me sternly his blue eyes sparkling in the weaning sunlight.

"I will make her happy. I will make up for all the wrong I've done."

He shakes his head. "You're going about it all wrong. You can't make up for cheating on her and treating her like you have. You need to just look to the present and the future and leave the past in the past. And Fitzgerald do know that if you don't treat my daughter right this time you'll have me to answer to and to hell with the Secret Service." Jackson turns back and looks out over the horizon as he puffs on his cigar. I know that he isn't joking that he will absolutely hurt me if I don't make this right.

"I promise I'm going to do right. And if I can't make her happy I will let her go." He nods again, but doesn't look at me. I settle into the chair and look out over the horizon with him, enjoying the momentary solitude.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N Just a short set up chapter I got a second wind of inspiration.

Fitz has gone out with my dad and taken Teddy with him for that I am thankful. I am exhausted and can't pull myself out of bed. Clearly I am too old to be pregnant my body is just reacting in the weirdest of ways. I hear a soft knock before my mother peaks her head into the room.

"Honey how you doing?" She slowly walks over to the bed.

"Tired mom." I'm laying with my hand thrown over my eyes.

"He doesn't know yet does he?" I lift my hand from my eyes and squint at my mother.

"Who doesn't know what?"

"You haven't told Fitz you're pregnant." Damn was it written in neon letters across my forehead? "From the way you're looking at me you're trying to figure out how I knew. Well I'm a woman I was pregnant before remember that's how you got here. You aren't exactly not showing Mellie and I heard you retching this morning."

"No he doesn't know."

"When are you going to tell him?" I take a deep breath.

"I'm not." She laughs and shakes her head.

"Mellie you do know that at the end a baby will appear? You can't hide this forever especially not from the most powerful man in the world. What do you think you'll go away for a few months and leave the baby somewhere?" Her mother stated sarcastically and Mellie was becoming angry.

"What do you suggest I do?" She stated snidely.

"First I'd suggest you watch your tone with me young lady. Secondly I'd suggest you tell your husband that you are pregnant. Whether you divorce or not he's still the father of your children that will not change."

"He won't let me have the divorce if he knows I'm pregnant."

"Melody he's not letting you have the divorce now." I hate that she is right, but I'm still not sold on telling Fitz about the pregnancy. I want to wait until I can't wait anymore ideally at the child's high school graduation.

"I know mom I just…I can't believe this is my life. Where did it all go wrong where did I go wrong?" She pats my leg and kisses me on the forehead.

"Do you still love your husband?"

"Yes although it's so stupid that I do." She shakes her head at me.

"It's not stupid honey, but I do suggest either you piss or get off the pot." I look at her wide eyed.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"He really can't stop you from leaving him. Yes he can watch you and yes he can not sign the papers, but Mellie honey he's not exactly holding you hostage. You don't really want to leave, but you don't really want to stay. So you need to make up your mind. Are you going to be with your husband or not?"

"Mom I had divorce papers drawn up how can you say I'm indecisive." Her eyebrows raise.

"How far along are you?" I open my mouth to speak, but then close it. I don't want to say.

"Mom."

"Just as I guessed. Piss or get off the pot Melody." She says as she stands from the bed and walks out of the room.

1 Week Later

Mellie and I are on our way back to D.C. The trip wasn't as painful as I thought it might be, but Mellie still refuses to tell me what is going on with her. Her mother had been giving me strange looks and I feel like whatever is going on she most certainly knows about it. I've been trying to let her come to me, but I need to know what's going on. I can't ignore this any longer. When we get back to the White House we settle back into our routine, me trying to make her talk and her ignoring me. I'm frustrated, but I refuse to give up.

"Mellie can we talk?" I turn to Andrew. I nod my head and he follows me into my office.

"I'm guessing you haven't talked to your husband."

"Andrew please stay out of this."

"Mellie you are obviously keeping the baby don't you think you need to tell your husband?"

"Between you and my mother it's like a broken record."

"We're both right. He has a right to know."

"Why are you all of a sudden on Fitz's side?"

"I'm on the side of what's right. And we know you can't keep this a secret forever." I know that he's right, but I'm not ready to concede just yet.

"Do you want to pretend to be the father?" I know the answer, but I am slightly hopeful.

"Mellie I wish I was the father, but I'm not going to pretend. Fitz needs to know that he's going to be a dad again it's only right."

"I know as much as I hate to admit it I know that you are right, but I can't tell him right now. Maybe eventually, but not right now." Andrew nods and turns to leave. I notice when he leaves that the door wasn't shut all the way. I momentarily panic that someone may have heard, but I shrug it off and go about my duties.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N I just want to thank everyone for their amazing reviews. Those reviews is what keeps me going. I seem to have gotten a second wind on this fic so here is another update. Thanks again everyone.

"Surprised to see you here is everything ok?" She nods at me and walks slowly into my office. She just stands in front of my desk and stares at me. "Is there something I can do? Is the situation not under control?" She just shakes her head.

"I came here to speak with Mellie." I'm shocked by that response.

"Why?"

"I wanted to explain to her that nothing was going on with us. I know you don't want her to know specifics, but I just felt the need to tell her." Olivia sits in the chair at the side of my desk.

"How did it go?" She takes a deep breath and looks away.

"I didn't get to talk to her. She was busy." I don't like the look on her face.

"Busy doing what?" She seems to be having an inner battle. "What's going on? What was Mellie doing?"

"Talking to Andrew." My heart starts to speed up.

"How do you know that?"

"They left the door cracked. I heard them." I can tell from the look on her face that I won't like what she has to say next.

"What were they talking about?" I say softly.

"Fitz I really shouldn't be telling you this." I slam my fist down on the desk.

"Damn it Olivia tell me what were they talking about!"

"She's pregnant Fitz. She's having your baby and hiding it from you. She wanted Andrew to pretend to be the father." My heart drops into my stomach. I stand from the desk and stare out the window. I can't believe that this is what she's been hiding from me. Andrew knows and she wanted him to pretend to be the father of my child.

"Fitz?" Olivia lays a hand on my shoulder and I shrug her off.

"Is that all you came here for?" I hear her let out a slow breath.

"Yes."

"Well I have some work to get done." I don't turn around again before she leaves my office. I lay my head on the cool window still in shock about what I'd just been told.

I'm on my way up to the residence. I've had a long day full of boring First Lady duties. I am just about to our bedroom when Fitz comes around the corner. It's something about his body language that causes me concern. He is stiff and appears to be clinching his jaw. He stares at me as he comes closer. Before I can react he grabs my arm and practically drags me into our bedroom. I nearly trip and fall a couple times.

Once we are behind closed doors I snatch away from him. "What the hell is your problem Fitz?"

"When were you going to tell me that you're pregnant?" My eyes widen. My worst fears are confirmed someone overheard Andrew and I.

"Fitz."

"No! Don't Fitz me when were you fucking going to tell me Mellie!" He advances on me and gets in my face his blue eyes blazing. I shake my head unable to speak. Fitz grabs me by my upper arms. "Answer me!"

"Fitz please." I'm scared I don't like when he's like this. Fitz has never hit me, but his anger is scary nonetheless.

"And then you were going to pass my child off as Andrew's? What kind of monster are you?" I've had enough and I snatch away from him.

"One that needed to be away from you! I would do anything to get away from you including passing this child off as someone else's. That's how much I loathe you." He steps back and clutches his chest like I hit him.

"That doesn't give you the right to keep this from me."

"Who told you anyway?"

"That's not important. The important thing is it wasn't you. It should have been you the moment you found out. I have pleaded with you for weeks to tell me what was wrong and you refused. You had no intention whatsoever of telling me that you were carrying my child! That's sick and it's cruel. I've never done anything to you so badly to warrant this type of treatment!"

"In fucking denial again. You have treated me like absolute shit Fitzgerald. And you act like you don't know why I wouldn't want you in this babies life. You talk about having two kids with your whore and living in Vermont. What about the kids you already have? Yet you stand there acting like your kids are the most important thing to you when that is the furthest thing from the true. Your imaginary kids with your whore is more important than the kids that you actually have!"

My eyes widen at what she's just said. I don't even know how she knows about Vermont, but now is not the time to open that Pandora's box.

"Deflection isn't going to make this better Mellie." She walks away from me and then suddenly turns around.

"If you hadn't brought her into our lives our son would still be alive. But it's almost poetic justice that Gerry died since you've been trying to erase our kids from your life ever since you met her."

I can tell that I've made a deep wound in him. From his reaction I know that he's had the same thoughts. Fitz swallows hard and sits down heavily on the bed. His face starts to collapse like a building being demoed I wonder if I've gone too far. Why do we always have to hurt each other so? This is why I need out we are toxic to one another. I go and sit in the chair by the fireplace. We sit in silence for what seems like hours.

"Were you going to tell me Mellie?" Fitz speaks softly all the anger drained out of him.

"Yes I wanted you to sign the papers first." He doesn't respond. "Who told you Fitz?"

"Olivia." I snatch my head his way.

"What?"

"She came to talk to you to tell you that nothing was going on between us and she overheard you talking to Andrew."

"Oh that's rich. Can she ever stay out of our business? It's not her place to tell you these things just like it wasn't her place to tell you about my rape." I can tell she is beginning to get upset again. "I will never forgive you for bringing her into our lives. She's caused nothing, but devastation and destruction to our family."

"That's not fair Mellie." She scoffs and shakes her head.

"Of course you'd say that. You benefited from her being around."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I don't even know why I'm asking, but we need to get everything out in the open.

She looks at me and arches are perfectly manicured eyebrow. "She's fucked and sucked you into oblivion the past five or six years or however long this has gone on. You've been able to check out of reality and live in your fantasy while everyone else has had to go on and clean up after you namely me. You've benefited and you've been the only one that has. Everyone else is living in misery and hell."

"Mels let's not."

"Now you don't want to, but when you were ragging on me you were all in. Typical Fitz. I really don't know how I've put up with this for so long."

"I don't think it's healthy for you to be getting this upset."

"Oh it's healthy for you to grab me up and drag me around?"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that I was just so angry with you in that moment. I'm desperate here Mellie. I want you to want to be with me. I want you to stay and I know every day that you are slipping through my fingers like sand through an hourglass and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. I feel like I'm drowning here and I can't save myself. I know you're going to leave me and I'm just prolonging the inevitable. I'm not saying I deserve you because God knows I never have, but that doesn't change the fact that I love you and I want you to stay my wife."

I am shocked by his words. Fitz hasn't been this open with me in a long time.

"We are toxic to each other Fitz can't you see that?"

"I keep thinking that we can make it right Mels. We used to be so happy and we're having another child, we're getting another chance to fix this mess. I don't want to squander it."

"Too much water underneath the bridge Fitz, I don't trust you anymore." He shakes his head and runs his fingers through his hair before standing from the bed. He looks exhausted and seems to have aged ten years in a span of thirty minutes.

"I'm going to go sleep…..elsewhere." He says pointing toward the door. Fitz makes a move to exit the room, but turns around and walks over to me. He pulls me into his embrace and kisses the top of my head. I resist at first, but my resolve melts away and I wrap my arms around his waist and lay my head on his chest. We just stand there holding each other, not speaking. He finally breaks the embrace. He steps away and takes my face gently in between his hands.

"I love you whatever that means to you at this point. I've never stopped and I know I haven't been the husband you deserve, but I'm going to fix that from this moment forward." He kisses me softly on my lips before stepping away and leaving the room.

The torrent of tears comes soon after the door clicks closed. I hold my stomach as the emotions overcome me. I don't know what to do. A part of me wants to leave and the other wants to stay. I'm so confused. I don't know if I want to leave just to spite him or if I want to leave because I truly no longer want to be his wife. I close my eyes tightly trying to get my emotions under control. I strip out of my clothes and lay down in bed in just my underwear, too tired to go get my nightclothes. I cover myself with the bedding and lay on my side staring at Fitz's empty side. My hand rubs his cold pillow and my heart constricts as I imagine living the rest of my life like this.


	12. Chapter 12

I purposefully stay in bed longer than usual. I don't want to speak with Fitz, I don't want to see Fitz. As much as I know it's going to hurt me to walk away I know I have to. We can't go on like this. It would be best for our children if we weren't together because together all we do is hurt each other. Finally I roll out of bed and decide to start my day. I am hoping that he has already gone to the West Wing.

I look in on Teddy before heading to the dining room to have a late breakfast. I stop short when I see Fitz sitting at the table. I momentarily think about leaving the room, but I decide not to be childish. I walk in and take a seat across from him. He doesn't look up from whatever he's reading. My food is brought to me and I begin to eat trying to forget that he's even here. I find myself becoming engrossed in the newspaper sitting on the table.

"You need to withdraw that petition for divorce before the press gets wind of it." I look at him confused.

"Why?" He takes a deep breath before continuing.

"I just explained that to you. Before the press gets wind of it." He states slowly like I am an idiot.

"I understand that Fitz, but since we are getting a divorce withdrawing will just make the process slower." He takes a deep breath and just stares at me.

"We aren't getting a divorce. Especially now that you are pregnant with my child again."

"Fitz this just isn't working. And we will only harm this child and Teddy like we did Karen and Gerry if we stay married." He slams his fist down on the table and I jump startled by his sudden outburst.

"We aren't getting a divorce and that's final!" Fitz stands abruptly from the table causing the chair he was sitting in to fall over. He walks out of the room without another word to me. I sit stunned by what has just happened.

Mellie exasperates me. I can't believe she is still with this whole divorce thing. It's not going to happen not now not ever. I thought we were making progress, but I see that we've back slid. I know that it doesn't help that I keep having these angry outbursts, but I am so frustrated with her. I walk to the Oval, my mood not improving. I want Mellie to understand that I've changed that I'm ready to start working on our marriage, but she keeps being obstinate with this obsession to get a divorce. I don't think for one second that she actually wants to divorce me. I know that she is trying to get back at me. Once I reach my office I decide to make a phone call. This is the only way that we will survive.

4 Days Later

"Fitz I don't have time for this. I have china patterns to pick out." I am not entirely enthusiastic about picking out china patterns, but it's my duty and I take it serious.

"This is more important." Fitz ushers me towards the residence private drawing room. I stop in the doorway confused by a middle aged woman sitting waiting on us.

"What's this Fitz?"

"Mellie this is Dr. Mackenzie. She's a marriage counselor." I look at him like he has four heads.

"Fitz…"

"Honey we need to talk to someone and Dr. Mackenzie comes highly recommended." I know that he won't relent so I decide to just go along with this. We sit across from the doctor on the sofa. I try to put some distance between us in case he says something stupid that causes me to want to do bodily harm to him.

"Why did you call me Fitzgerald?" I take a deep breath and glance at Mellie, who is looking anywhere, but at me.

"Mellie wants a divorce and I don't want a divorce. I don't think our marriage is over. We still love each other." I see her shaking her head out the corner of my eye. The doctor cuts her gaze at Mellie.

"Mellie you will get your turn. Why does she want a divorce?" Mellie turns and look at me.

"I have been unfaithful. I haven't treated her like she deserved to be treated."

"Why do you think she should stay with you Fitzgerald, after all that you have done to her?" I stare at him intently. I am interested to see what he says.

"We love each other."

"What if love isn't enough?" I like this doctor. Fitz is silent for a moment. He seems taken off guard by her question.

"Isn't love always enough?"

"You tell me." He squirms in his seat and I can tell this is not going how he thought it was going to go. He thought that he was going to get to call the shots and have the doctor make me stay.

"It is for us. We've been together for a long time and been through so much together and we are still here. I know we can overcome this stumble in our marriage." I scoff I can't help it. The doctor cuts her eyes at me and I raise my hands in apology.

"Mellie since you seem to have a lot on your mind care to tell me why you have decided to divorce Fitzgerald." I take a deep breath and suddenly feel emotional. I swallow down the emotions.

"I'm tired of being humiliated and thrown away." He looks at me surprised by my words.

"Please elaborate Mellie. What has he done to humiliate you and make you feel thrown away?"

"For starters paraded his mistress around. Constantly telling me that he doesn't love me and is in love with another woman. I have never felt so torn down in my life. You have no idea what that feels like when your husband looks you in the face and tells you that this is him being in love with another woman. And in front of that woman." My voice breaks and I look away trying to compose myself.

"Fitzgerald did you have any idea how much you have hurt your wife?"

"Yes" His answer shocks me and I can tell the doctor as well. I look at him stunned. "I wanted her to hurt for hurting me. For turning me away." I can't believe I just admitted that, but I know if I am to save my marriage I have to be totally honest and lay everything bare.

"How did she turn you away?"

"She shut me out emotionally. I thought she never loved me. I know I was wrong now, but the damage was already done."

"Mellie why did you shut him out emotionally?" Mellie sits wide eyed I know she doesn't want to get into this. I take her hand.

"You don't have to." She looks at me unshed tears glistening in her eyes. The doctor looks between us confused.

"I'd rather not get into that. Fitz knows the reasons." She nods but I know that she is skeptical.

"I understand that you are not ready to go into whatever it is today, but at some point I think it would be helpful to talk about it." I nod knowing she is right. Fitz glances at his watch.

"I have a meeting I have to get to." All three of us stand.

"I would like to continue this three times a week." He nods.

"Yes my secretary will coordinate our schedules and get back to you." She shakes our hands and one of the Secret Service escorts her out. Fitz looks at me sheepishly.

"You should have told me you were bringing in a shrink." I'm not angry just exasperated.

"I knew you wouldn't talk to her if I did. Mels do you really feel thrown away?"

"Let's not ok?"

"Sure." I glance his way one more time before walking out of the room.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N This fic gets me in my feely place for some reason. Hope you all enjoy this chapter.

I'm not happy about this therapy session today. Now that I know it's coming I dread the days. I sit in my office staring at the clock wishing time would slow down, but the session is fast approaching. I'd thought of scheduling something, anything today, but I knew that I'd have to deal with him and to be honest I guess the session was better than hearing his mouth. He has dug his heels in and no matter what I say or do he's not going to relent.

"You ready?" I tear my eyes away from the clock and stare at Fitz, who has just walked into my office. I nod as I stand from my desk. When I reach him he tries to grab my hand.

"Don't." I walk past him and I can hear his sigh. Dr. Mackenzie is waiting for us when we arrive. We greet her.

"How have you two been since our first session?" We both shrug and she nods her head.

"Mellie we ended our last sessions talking about how you feel regarding Fitz's infidelities I'd like to expand upon that."

"What's to say? He cheats on me and makes me feel like shit. Like a failure as a wife and a mother. I want a divorce and just because he's gotten in his head that right now he wants me it's all about his wants and needs and not mine." I can't keep the shocked expression off my face at the venom that I hear in her words.

"We need to talk about why you shut your husband out emotionally?" I hear Mellie's breath hitch in her throat and I so badly want to tell her we don't have to talk about it, but I know that we need to talk about it. Mellie looks away from us and I can feel that she is trying to compose herself. Finally she takes a deep breath and looks back at the doctor.

"I was raped." The doctor nods.

"By a stranger?"

"By Fitz's father." I close my eyes. It was the first time I'd heard it actually come out of her mouth. Even though I knew about what my father did it made it even more painful to hear Mellie say it. "It was before he was governor. I blamed myself, I knew that Big Gerry wasn't a nice man yet I tried to make nice with him and I paid a big price for it. I was embarrassed to have trusted him, ashamed that I couldn't fight him off. I felt like I deserved it and I no longer deserved Fitz." She said the last part softly. I knew she was fighting to keep her emotions in check.

"Fitz how did you react when Mellie told you about what your father did?" I squirm in my seat uncomfortable with the truth that I have to tell.

"She didn't tell me. My mistress told me." I see Mellie shake her head out the corner of my eye. Dr. Mackenzie is fighting to keep her expression neutral.

"Please tell me how this came about?" I glance over at Mellie. She has no clue how Olivia ended up telling me about her rape. I take a deep breath before continuing.

"I was projected to lose re-election and was preparing for my post political life. I was preparing to leave Mellie for my mistress." I pause waiting to see if there is any reaction from Mellie, there is none. "In the midst of making these plans I was informed about Mellie's rape. She wanted me to be certain that I was leaving Mellie for the right reasons and not to be under any false pretenses about why Mellie was how she was."

"Did you go to your wife and talk to her about the rape and how it changed her?"

"No." The doctor stares at me.

"Why not?"

"I didn't want to deal with it. I didn't want to….." I try to search for the right words. "I've operated under assumptions about my wife for so long, assumptions that I'd become comfortable with that I wasn't ready to let go. I wanted an excuse for my behavior and the only excuse I could use was that she never loved me, she used me and was a monster. If that was turned on its head then I wasn't sure where that left me as a person. How I could justify my actions." Even though I am terribly embarrassed to have admitted that, I feel a weight lifted off of me.

"Mellie when you found out that Fitz knew about your rape did you try to talk to him about how it affected you?" I sigh I no longer want to talk about this. I just want to talk about the best way to handle this divorce.

"I tried to explain to him that I fought his father, but Fitz silenced me. I initially thought it was just him not wanting me to relive the pain, but as time went on I tried to broach the subject numerous times and was rebuffed. Finally he just flat out told me he didn't want to discuss it. That I'd spent over fifteen years not discussing it and he wanted it to stay that way."

"Not my most proud moment." I scoff at his statement. He looks at me quizzically. "Mellie I'm sorry for not wanting to hear you out, but I just explained why."

"So you think that because you are a coward it makes everything better? That your cowardice heals all my wounds and mends my broken heart? Your cowardice makes me feel like a whole woman again after your father ripped away my dignity and self respect?"

"That's not what I am saying at all."

"Then what are you saying Fitzgerald?" The moment is getting heated and the tension is pressing down on all of us. Dr. Mackenzie holds her hands up.

"Arguing won't solve any of your problems. I know that there is a lot of anger and hurt feelings here, but the only way to truly hear one another is to talk to each other not yell."

I know she is correct, but all I want to do is slap him upside his head and walk out of this room. Although I want to leave I know that Fitz and I need to have some type of cordial relationship. We have children together and nothing is going to change that fact. Dr. Mackenzie looks at her watch.

"That's all the time we have right now. I know it may not feel like it' but we made great progress today." We all stand and we shake her hand before she leaves. Mellie tries to walk away, but I gently grab her arm.

"I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to hurt you. I want to fix us please give me the opportunity."

"What if I don't want to be fixed? What If I just want to walk away and never look back?"

"I know I don't have a right to ask you for anything after the way I have treated you, but if you will try with me to mend our marriage and if it doesn't work I'll sign the papers."

"Fine I'll try, but I'm not going to lie Fitz I'm half out the door and I can't think of anything that can be said or done that's going to change that." I pull my arm out of his hand before turning and leaving him standing in the room alone.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N This chapter just poured out of me. I like when that happens hopefully you all like the results.

Two Days Later

"Mellie why aren't you in your office?" I walk into the Residence living room after looking for her in her office.

"It's not like I had anything to do." Mellie never took her eyes off the tv. I sit next to her on the sofa. I notice that she is starting to show. Her face is more rounded and she has a slight bump. I want to touch her stomach, but I know she won't like that.

"Dr. Mackenzie will be here soon." She sighs.

"I don't want to do this today Fitz or any other day." She still does not look at me.

"Why?" She takes a deep breath and looks at me.

"Are you kidding me? What is the point of all this Fitz? We are not going to save this marriage why dredge up all this hurtful stuff just to get a divorce anyway." I can tell that he's disappointed by what I've just said, but I don't care. I'm tired of caring about him and his feelings when he doesn't care about mine.

"Mels you told me you would try."

"I also told you I was half out the door. You can't expect me to be happy about this."

"We have children we need to try for them."

"Fitz sometimes the best thing is to let go."

"Please keep trying." I turn away from him to look back at the tv. I know that I'll go to this therapy session just to get him off my back, but I am no way thinking that Fitz and I will stay married.

The time arrives for Fitz and I to have another pointless therapy session. If he had decided to do this before I tried to leave I may feel a bit more amiable towards the idea, if he had decided to do this a year ago I know I'd be more inclined, but at this point it's just a game and a power play he's trying to make. I take my time arriving to the drawing room. Fitz and the doctor are already there.

"Nice to see you Mellie." The doctor greets me and I greet her back before sitting on the couch next to Fitz. "Mellie the last session we got into how Fitz's cheating has affected you. I want to expand upon that more today." Mellie rolls her eyes and I feel her tense. "Did you immediately confront your husband when you found out about his affair?"

"No." She simply states.

"Why not?"

"I thought it was just a fling and I convinced myself I could handle it."

"Convinced yourself?"

She sighs before continuing. "In my head for a time I convinced myself that he was having an affair because I was allowing him to have an affair. Not because it was something that was completely out of my control. That was the only way I could keep myself from falling apart." I am shocked by what she has just said.

"What did you do that made you feel you were in control of your husband's affair?"

"Asked his mistress to come back and work for us because he needed her. It was the most humiliating thing I've ever done but I made myself believe that I was sanctioning the affair and he was only doing it because I was allowing it. I knew in the back of my mind he'd do it anyway and I just needed to have the control if I could."

"Fitz did you know that your wife was feeling this way?"

"No I thought she just didn't care and she was pushing me off on another woman because she didn't want to be with me."

"If Mellie didn't want you why is she still here?"

"I thought it was for the power and prestige of being first lady." Mellie scoffs and shakes her head.

"Mellie do you have something to say?"

"I hate being first lady. It is the most mind numbingly boring thing I've ever done in my life. I have stayed because I love my husband and I felt we could get over this hurdle and resume our lives. I'd much rather be a partner at a law firm than first lady."

"Then why did you push me to be governor?"

I look at Fitz surprised by his clouded view of the past. "I didn't push you to be governor. You father decided and if you recall I was ready to just forget all about it until you said you would make a good governor and I knew that you did want it." I look at her shocked. I do recall that night. Suddenly I have an epiphany.

"Mellie did you keep your rape a secret so that I would run for governor?" It's not an accusation. I see her jaw clinch and she looks away from me. I know that I am correct.

"Mellie is what Fitz saying true?" She closes her eyes and I know she's fighting her emotions.

"The night I was raped I went back to our room. I wanted to take a shower, but Fitz wanted me to…..to get in bed with him and I did. He told me he wanted his father to just lay off him and apologize and he thought he would make a good governor. That's when I knew I had to make that happen and I used my rape as leverage. I'd already lost my self respect and dignity why not get something out of it that would make my husband happy." I'm stunned into silence after that revelation. I can't stop looking at her. Suddenly I feel awful for how I have treated her, how I've disregarded her.

"Fitz you look completely taken aback."

"I am." I say softly. "I thought…..I don't know, I was wrong about my wife."

"If you had known this would you have cheated on your wife?"

"No she knows that I wouldn't have cheated if she hadn't turned me away."

"That's not what I asked? If you wife had told you she was rape, but was still unable to emotionally connect with you. Would you have cheated?"

"No I would not have cheated on Mellie." I look Dr. Mackenize in her eyes and I am being completely truthful.

"Mellie do you believe Fitz?"

"Should I?"

"That's not for me to decide."

"Our current state, no I don't believe him. I feel like I'm being manipulated. He wants me to stay for some reason that I haven't been able to figure out."

"So you don't believe him when he says that he loves you?"

"No I don't believe him. He was so quick to walk away from me. I wonder if he ever loved me. If he ever cared about me. The minute things got rough he just packed up and left me high and dry."

"Mellie I didn't know."

"You knew something was wrong and all you did was yell at me and complain about how I wouldn't have sex with you. I was dying inside Fitz. I tried to kill myself." I cover my mouth knowing that I've said too much.

"Mellie…" I refuse to look at him.

"Mellie we need to talk about this." I shake my head no. I can't believe I just let that slip.

"What's the point? He wouldn't have cared if I died he doesn't care now." I'm not being dramatic, I am speaking from my heart. "He doesn't love me. He's never loved me. He doesn't care about me or my feelings. This therapy is just for show."

"For show? What do you mean by that?" I take a deep breath sick of her asking me what I mean by this and that. I mean what I said.

"He knows we are over he doesn't care that we're over he's been wanting this for years now. He asked me for a divorce when I was nine months pregnant with his son. He has already said he was planning to leave me. He doesn't want me!"

"That's not true Mellie. I want you, I love you."

"Fitz you just hate that I filed for divorce. That I had the balls to do what you never had the balls to do. You want to be in control, you're trying to lure me back in so you can lay the hammer down on me, but I won't be fooled." I can't believe what I've done to her. She doesn't trust me. There was a time when she trusted me with her life, but I pissed that all away.

"Mellie I still want to get back to your suicide attempt."

"Of course you do."

"Explain to me what you were going through when you made that decision."

Mellie looks down and I know she's trying to compose herself. I am fighting to keep my emotions at bay.

"After my father-in-law violated me I didn't want to live. I didn't know if my son was my husband's or his father's and I didn't think I could tell Fitz. Fitz was so angry with me because I changed and I couldn't be a proper mother to my son so I just decided the world would be a better place without me in it."

"Why didn't you think you could tell Fitz?"

"He couldn't take it. He would have done something irrational like kill his father. I took the burden upon myself like I always did. I was his wife and it was my responsibility to hold him up to bare the cross."

"I never asked you to do that Mellie."

"You didn't have to Fitz. Everything in your demeanor screamed I need to be taken care of because I'm so wounded. I'm not blaming you it was my decision." I suddenly feel less than a man. My wife didn't trust that I was strong enough that she could come to me with such a terrible incident. I know that I have to do some deep soul searching and reexamine myself and my life.

"What happened that your suicide attempt failed?"

"I took an overdose of pills and Andrew found me." Fitz scoffs at the mention of Andrew.

"The Vice President?"

"Yes the one she had an affair with." He suddenly blurts out.

"Mellie you have also cheated?"

"I had a fling that he sent his mistress to break up. It wasn't till well after he'd been carrying on with Olivia."

"Tell me about Andrew."

"He found me, he stuck his fingers down my throat and he stayed with me to make sure I was ok. He wanted to be with me then, but I had some ridiculous loyalty to my husband. Hindsight is twenty twenty." I feel him staring at me and I know that he's taken aback.

"How did you end up having an affair with him?"

"He made me feel beautiful and like a woman. He made me feel appreciated and smart, functional not ornamental." I say the last part looking right at Fitz.

"Your husband doesn't do all those things?"

"He acts like I'm the scourge of the earth. He tells me I'm a monster. He called me a cry baby when I grieved for our son a second too long, I'm ornamental not functional."

"Fitz is that how you really feel?"

"Absolutely not. She's pregnant apparently I don't find her to be the scourge of the earth. She's beautiful, the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. And I regret calling her all those things. They were not based in any fact, but anger out of what I perceived about her."

"And that was?"

"That she didn't love me. I have loved this woman so deeply. I never thought I'd have anyone in my life like her. Never thought I'd have a family and I had it and then it was gone. I was furious with her because she took it away from me. She gave me false hope that we would have a good life and then she just snatched it away. I've been angry at her for so long I didn't know how to be anything else."

"But you are ready to move forward and leave the anger behind?"

"I am ready. I know what it's like to not have her and I can't live like that." He states the last part looking right in my eyes. I'm astounded by his words and despite myself I believe him. I'm not ready to jump back in head first, but I am willing to listen to and take into account what he has to say.

"Today we made a lot of headway. There is a lot of hurt, anger and misunderstandings that have changed the trajectory of both your lives and your relationship. I am hopeful that we will be able to get things back on track and to give you two the tools that you'll need to stay on track should any stumbling blocks occur."

Our session with Dr. Mackenzie ends and she leaves us alone. We are still sitting on the sofa not talking or moving. I stand and Fitz stand's with me. I go to leave, but he grabs my arm and pulls me to him. He wraps his arms around me tightly and kisses the top of my head.

"I'm so sorry for everything." I nod against his chest. He releases me and looks me in the eyes one more time before walking out of the room.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N Not a very long update, but an update and I feel like a needed transition so I can start wrapping this one up.

"Mellie we need to talk." I walk outside to the Truman balcony and sit down.

"Don't we do enough of that in therapy?" Mellie says to me taking a sip of whatever she's drinking.

"Yes and I think it's working, but I think we need to talk outside of therapy. Dr. Mackenzie isn't always going to be with us."

"What do you want to talk about?"

"How you're feeling about everything, the therapy, our marriage?" I sit practically holding my breath.

"I feel the same as I've been feeling. It's all for naught." My spirits crash and burn.

"You don't think it's helping at all?"

"I think it's helping us to try to be civil towards one another for the sake of our children, but I don't think the marriage is repairable."

"It's never going to be repairable if you aren't even trying."

"I'm not trying?" I start to get upset with him. "I've been trying for the past six years and just because you have decided to take your head out of your ass now everyone else needs to fall in line!." He hold his hands up.

"I don't want you to get upset."

"Same old Fitz you don't like any confrontation."

"It's not that, getting upset just isn't worth it we won't accomplish anything if we are yelling."

"The only thing you want to accomplish is for me to acquiesce to you once again and I'm just not there anymore." I sigh realizing that this is not going well.

"Mel please I'm trying."

"I have things I need to do Fitz." Mellie stands up and walks back inside leaving me alone with my hurt feelings and thoughts.

"Dr. Mackenzie nice to see you again." Our session begins and I am nervous about what type of mood Mellie is going to be in.

"Nice to see both of you again. I want to start by exploring how Mellie's infidelity affected you Fitz."

"I was crushed. I thought that she wasn't a sexual person anymore and to find out she was having an affair made me feel like less than a man."

"What led you to believe she wasn't a sexual person?"

"That's what she told me. After our son was born Mellie no longer wanted me to touch her. And she said that having a baby changed her and she no longer was a sexual person."

"Because of her sexual assault?"

"Yes, but I didn't know that and I didn't know it when the affair was revealed. I thought it was that she didn't want me. I took it personal and I was both upset and hurt."

"Even though you'd been having an affair of your own?" Mellie was silently happy that the doctor was asking him the tough questions.

"Yes and I know that is hypocritical, but I never told her I didn't want her she turned me away which is why I cheated. I would have never cheated had she never turned me away."

"But now that you know she was assaulted."

"I understand why she turned me away and I want to make our relationship better."

"Please Fitz, don't sit here and lie." I look at Mellie.

"What are you talking about I'm being honest."

"You found out I had been raped and then our son died and you still shacked up with your mistress the moment she came back in town. How is that you would have never cheated if you'd known yet when you knew you still cheated?"

"Mellie is this why you aren't willing to see that Fitz is remorseful for his affair and wants the marriage to work?"

"Partly, he only wanted to be with me when I left. It just seems like a game he wants me when he can't have me, but the minute I come back he'll leave me again. Maybe not physically but emotionally." I realize how much I have absolutely hurt her.

"Mels I am so sorry. I cannot express how truly sorry I am." I turn from her and look at the doctor. "I took a magnificent creature and destroyed her. Took away her confidence. I see that now. One of the most attractive things about Mellie was her confidence and when that was gone I didn't find her as attractive because of it. Olivia came into my life and she was confident and I had been missing that in my wife. Mellie was no longer sure of herself and I craved that type of woman in my life. I' m not the most confident person and I came to lean on Mellie and then Olivia, I'm not proud of that, and I want to try to work on that flaw." I can tell she wasn't prepared for me to be honest.

"Fitz you didn't destroy me. Your father did. He took away.." My emotions get the best of me. I clear my throat. "Big Gerry ripped away my very sense of being. He took away my feelings of self worth. I didn't handle it correctly. I should have told you." I'm not angry in this moment just honest. Fitz reaches over and takes my hand before leaning over and kissing my forehead.

"So sorry baby." He rubs my back with his free hand. I'm trying to not cry, but I just can't keep this in anymore. One tear falls from my eyes and before I know it the tears are streaming down my face. He pulls me to him and holds me tight. "Let it out. You don't have to always be strong. I can be strong for the both of us. Just let it out baby." He says softly to me and I do. I let over fifteen years worth of hurt, pain and anguish out and I don't feel embarrassed or weak. I feel human.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N Well everyone the time has come to say goodbye to this fic. I felt this was a good place to stop it. I have soooo appreciated all the reviews. Reading your reviews really helps me to become a better writer. I have These Are the Days of Our Lives left and another fic idea kicking around in my head so stay tuned for that one.

Four Months Later

Mellie and I are no longer in therapy. We have really turned a corner and have come to an understanding. Our relationship is much more cordial. I walk into the room where she is laying on her side. The sound of the machines are the only noise in the room. I know she isn't sleep, but I slowly approach the bed.

"Mels." I say as I stroke her hair. "Sorry it took me so long, but I'm here now." She looks up at me and her eyes are red and puffy. As she is about to speak a contraction hits. I grab her hand and try to talk her through it. I look at the monitor and I know it is a strong one. Finally the pain subsides and she releases my hand as I stroke her back

"Fitz how could I have forgotten how badly this hurts?" I can tell from her voice that she is tired.

"I guess that's the bodies coping mechanism to forget the pain." She nods and shifts in the bed trying to find a comfortable spot. I know from past experiences that her back is probably killing her. I rub her lower back.

"Thank you." She says softly. It's not long before another contraction is ripping through her.

"Breath through it you are doing so good." He strokes my forehead as I try to fight through another contraction. I really don't know why I decided to do this naturally. I know I can change my mind, but I'm too stubborn to admit defeat.

Finally after what seems a lifetime I am told I can push. It only takes ten minutes of pushing before our son enters the world screaming and red from exertion. He looks just like his father. We decide to name him Thomas William Grant. A big name for a little guy, but I have hopes he will live up to it. The doctor places my son on my chest and I instantly fall deeper in love with him than I ever thought was possible. He immediately tries to start nursing.

Fitz laughs. "He's a Grant for sure. In this world for five minutes and already trying to eat." Fitz runs his fingers over our sons dark curly hair and stares at him in awe. He bends and kisses my forehead.

"You've done good Mels."

"We have done good." She looks up at me and smiles. I never thought Mellie and I would get to this point. Just four months ago we were at each other's throats and now we are able to actually stand being in the same room with each other. We are able to parent our children as a cohesive unit and more importantly we are friends again.

Two Days Later

I help Mellie into bed. She is still sore after giving birth. As soon as she is settled she reaches for Thomas. I gently pick him up out of the bassinet that is at the side of the bed and hand him to his mother. He squirms in his sleep, but quickly settles down once he's in her arms. I kick my shoes off and climb into bed bedside her.

"He looks so much like Gerry when he was that age." She nods, I could tell she was thinking it too. She looks at me unshed tears glistening in her eyes. I pull her against me and kiss her forehead.

"I miss him Fitz." I know this should be a happy moment but I can't stop thinking about Gerry.

"I do too honey. I do too."

"Will it ever stop hurting?"

"I think time will just help us to get used to the pain, but I don't think it'll ever stop hurting, that we'll ever stop missing him." I nod and sigh before turning my attention back to Thomas. We hear a knock at the door and Fitz gets up from the bed. He returns with Teddy in his arms.

"We have a visitor." Teddy smiles at me. Fitz brings him over to the bed and he climbs over looking at his brother. He bends and kisses him on the forehead before settling down between Fitz and I. I feel myself falling asleep.

"Fitz can you?" I don't get it out before he nods and hops out of bed. He takes Thomas from my arms and lays him back in the bassinet. Teddy has turned onto his side and is out. I ruffle his hair and smile. He's gotten so big. Fitz climbs back in bed and settles on his side and I do the same. We smile at each other.

"How long are you going to stay here?" I ask her.

"I was thinking maybe a week. Give you some bonding time with Thomas." I nod wishing it were longer.

"Well you aren't that far I can come by and see him and Teddy every day."

"Of course you can." It's strange that Mellie and I are in a better place now that we are no longer married. I fought for the marriage, but by the end of the therapy with Dr. Mackenzie I realized I needed to let her go, let her be happy. It was a hard pill to swallow to realize that I could not make her happy anymore that there was too much pain and destruction to fix our marriage. Although the therapy didn't save our marriage it still brought us close together and for that I am grateful especially for the sake of our children.

"When he gets a bit older we'll work out a schedule like we have for Teddy. It will be even easier once I'm done with my term. I will move into a place near years." I never thought I'd walk away from being first lady, but I did and I'm happier. The White House didn't ruin Fitz and I, the pressure of the White House just exposed the fractures that were already there, but now we are truly back to being friends. I'll always love him and he has a special place in my heart and life, but we have changed too much to salvage our marriage. It was difficult when we finally came to that realization, but once all was said and done we found that we were happier together when we weren't together.

Fitz snuggles deeper into the covers and stares at me. "Can you believe that we are here?"

"What do you mean?"

"Here being nice to each other as a divorced couple." She laughs that Mellie laugh that I love so much. I will always love her, but I loved her enough to let her go.

"No if someone told me five months ago that this was possible I would have called them a liar." She says smiling. Mellie yawns and I know she is exhausted.

"You should get some sleep before he wakes up." I look down at a sleeping Teddy. "Before they both wake up." She nods in agreement. It only takes a few minutes before she is out. I stare at her as she sleeps, she's beautiful. I miss her like crazy. I won't pretend that I don't, but she's happy, glowing. She's no longer bogged down with anger and regret. I'm happy too because she is happy. I smile to myself with the hope that maybe one day we can try again, but until then we'll just be friends and raise our kids together, but apart.


End file.
